-
Archive of "Discoveries" Category
This One’s With Me
Another audio note – this one on the transformational value in realizing that God doesn’t distance himself from me when I’m screwing everything up. If you’re looking at this on facebook – it doesn’t pick up the embedded audio. Click the “View Original Post” link below and you’ll find the audio.
Putting the Computer Together
I’ve been thinking about posting some short audio files here and just trying to open the door to the things I’m thinking as we set out on this church plant. So in the spirit of ‘Git R Done,” here’s one. The audio quality is not great. Sorry about that. I hope it’s not too distracting and I’ll make some improvements so that it’s at least a little louder. If you’re looking at this on facebook – it doesn’t pick up the embedded audio. Click the “View Original Post” link below and you’ll find the audio.
It’s Our Fault
Recently, I watched this video of a panel discussion / debate titled, Does the God of Christianity Exist and Why Does it Matter? It was sponsored and put on by a Christian publisher and it featured one atheist, Christopher Hitchens, author of god Is Not Great, and three Christian apologists (the only name I recognized was Lee Strobel). To say that watching the discussion left me frustrated is a severe understatement.
Mr. Hitchens, in answer to the first question posed to him, raised the issue of human suffering and specifically talked about the gut wrenching recent news story of the Austrian man who imprisoned his own daughter for more than 26 years, subjecting her and the children he fathered with her to unimaginable horror in an underground dungeon. The implications being, if there is a good and loving God somewhere up there, how could this evil inflicted upon such purely innocent people be explained?
I’m sure you know that each of the Christians on the panel had well thought and well articulated responses to the problem of innocent suffering and a loving God. I’ve heard all those before, and so have you. No one said anything I disagree with. In my opinion nobody handles the questions and complications of suffering better than C.S. Lewis in The Problem of Pain, and his infinitely more personal story of A Grief Observed. I’ve read both of those books more than once. So the guys on the panel certainly weren’t saying anything new and weren’t even saying it as well as I’ve heard it before – but that’s not what bothered me this time. I couldn’t escape the emptiness of the whole argument. Mr. Hitchens raises the raw human horror of a particular story and these guys start talking about free will and God’s desire to have people who “choose to love him.”
Is that it? That’s what we want the suffering and the innocent of this world to know? We’re sorry you were subject to such hell and evil but God couldn’t stop it because that would have violated your monstrous beast of a father’s free will? People, believe me when I say that if that’s all we’ve got on the “Christian side of the argument,” I’m out!
My frustration over this debate and my prayer and meditation ever since I heard the story of the Austrian has convinced me that this is not “all we’ve got.” But the consequences have been painful. Bottom line: These horrors have happened on our watch – on my watch.
1 Peter 5 says that the devil is seeking whom he “may” devour. He’s seeking for permission – for access. Who may I subject to agony and pain and unthinkable suffering? I’m coming to grips with my own responsibility toward humanity. We are Christ’s ambassadors – representatives given authority to establish his kingdom to the ends of the earth. In his kingdom, these things do not happen. But the keys of this kingdom have been given to us. We blew it!
I think that Nehemiah 1:6 provides us with the Christian response to suffering; “…Both my father’s house and I have sinned.” We have sinned. Access was given to the destroyer because the kingdom in which he has no power was not established in these places. The way we have been given of establishing that kingdom is repentance. Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand.
Hear me: I’m not saying that this horror took place because no one came to this Austrian and said, “Repent of your sins or you’ll go to hell.” Read Nehemiah again. I and my fathers have sinned. These horrors have occurred because I remain unrepentant. God has given us his kingdom in a mystery. I don’t know how my repentance establishes his kingdom, but I know that’s what does it.
2 Chronicles 7:14 “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
We do the humbling. We do the praying and the seeking. We repent of our wicked ways. Then he does the forgiving and the healing of the land. Instead of some academic debate about free will and God’s sovereignty, I long for someone to fall on his knees before Christopher Hitchens and say:
You are absolutely right! This is unacceptable. Please forgive me… on behalf of all Christians given the authority to establish Jesus’ kingdom, I repent as one who was taught to pray, “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is heaven.” I confess that I have failed to establish God’s kingdom in this situation. This never should have happened. Evil should have never been given this kind of access. Please forgive me.
I don’t know if that would have made a difference to Christopher Hitchens or not. It might not have changed his outlook or his worldview at all. That’s not the point.
Kingdom
The kingdom has been in all my meditation lately. Mark 4 is keeping me up at night – just laying in bed and thinking about what Jesus said in that one passage of Scripture. Mark 4:32 says that when Jesus was alone with the disciples, he explained everything to them. That’s what I’m after.
In this pursuit, I feel like he’s changing my mind about “alone time” with him. What if it’s more like Proverbs 3 (in all your ways acknowledge him) than it is long stretches of laboring in prayer? I’m not saying that prayer is unimportant, but I am thinking about it differently. Obviously Jesus spent time praying – early mornings, sleepless nights, but it is interesting to me that his disciples did not. When they actually asked him to teach them how to pray, he gave them a 30 second prayer. When the Pharisees kibitzed because Jesus’ disciples did not fast, he defended them by saying that they didn’t need to worry about that while he was with them.
These are just some thoughts… when you spend your life in the service of others, I think this “alone time” and solitude becomes more and more important. But what if prayer could be a lot more like acknowledging his presence with us and engaging in the ongoing conversation throughout the day?
Mission-drift
The March issue of Next-Wave is now online and it is a great one! I fall in love with each issue as I’m putting them together and this month was no different. The cover story is about video venues and the negative impact they are having and will have on the gift of teaching and preaching in the church. We’ve got stuff from Frank Viola and Jim Hendersen and a fantastic article (with some equally fantastic video of John Wimber) by Charlie.
I titled my editorial this month, “I had a Relapse.” In it, I’m talking about how easy it is to rebuild what we’ve destroyed (to use Paul’s language) in terms of some abandoned notions of church and pastoring. Specifically, a get together of people interested in this church we’re planting that I had at my house one Friday night a few weeks back. That was the relapse.
Having the get together was not the bad part. That could have gone really well and it truly was wonderful to be with everyone. We drifted from the mission we’ve been called to once I moved us all into the living room and we sat in a circle and I started talking… and talking… and talking. The whole idea of the gathering was that if things were becoming more and more clear to me, I should get people together (especially some people I do not get to talk to very often) and start making it clear to them.
Wrong!
That’s not how this thing is going to work. Besides, it turned out, as soon as I started trying to talk about it, that everything was only clear in my head. It was a garbled, rambling mess coming out of my mouth.
It’s not my job to make things clear to people – certainly not now and not in that way. I am only getting more clarity because of the process and the relationship I’m having with Jesus. He’s directing the adventure of following Him. It is a mistake for me to assume that Jesus wants me to follow Him but He wants everyone else to follow me! This dumb idea that I (the pastor) hear from God and then tell everyone else what He’s saying is what produces the church systems and structures we’ve all walked away from. Yet, that was the old pattern that I fell into with the very first evening together as somewhat of a group. Jesus wants to talk to people directly. That’s what we’re building this church upon. Everyone hears directly from God. If He is making things clearer to me, I can trust Him to do the same for others.
So I’ve been meditating on what our mission really is at this point (since it obviously wasn’t that!) and I’m pretty sure I see it in the first part of John chapter 2. We read that Jesus and His disciples were invited to a wedding in Cana. When they get there and the party runs prematurely out of wine, Jesus’ mother asks Him to do something about it. Here’s where it gets interesting… Jesus says that “His time” has not yet come. So we see that Jesus was already spending time with His disciples before He was pursuing any type of public ministry.
They were just spending time together, getting to know one another, going to social functions together. I’ve always been a bit confused though, because after Jesus tells His mom it’s not His time, He still does the miracle. He tells the servants to fill the pots of water. I got it when I read in verse 9 that no one at the party knew where the wine came from (only the servants that filled the pots). Jesus was willing to be totally invisible. He served the need but in the process, He made the groom look good and got absolutely no public recognition from it.
That’s our mission. We need to be spending time together and getting to know one another and doing social things together. We need to be learning what it means to follow Jesus without all the old props of our conventional church settings. And if we find ourselves in the middle of a need – we should be willing to play an invisible part. Allowing God to use us to fill gaps that no one else may have ever knew existed.
Combining My Journals
Some of you know that I have been keeping (well, "keeping" is an overstatement) two separate web journals for some time now. The ridiculousness of this idea has finally dawned on me… I know, I am slow to catch on, but don’t forget that I’m from Indiana. Anyway, here is the full content (entries and comments) from coastlandblog.com. Coastlandblog has now been decommissioned, but I might write something in this category from time to time, on this site. With that in mind, I’ve added a "CoastlandBlog Archive" section and an "RSS" subscription button to the sidebar.
If you see something in here that impacts you or inspires a comment, I’ll certainly still see it and will be glad to engage in the dialogue.
Peace.
The Kingdom of God is Like… Another South Africa Update
Jesus started so many stories by saying, “The kingdom of God is like…” This trip to South Africa has been an invitation to take part in one of those stories. I have come to a wonderful state of dependence since writing my last update from South Africa. Unless someone feeds me, I do not eat. Unless someone comes to get me, I have no way of getting around. Unless someone is willing to take me in, I have nowhere to sleep. Maybe that doesn’t sound so “wonderful” to you, but trust me, it has been perfect! Stress has been melting off my life since I landed here, nearly 3 weeks ago. I am learning to appreciate Jesus’ words about “take no thought…” If only I could learn to see my life so completely in his hands, as I have come to see it in the hands of my South African hosts.One amazing experience has been the Easter Camp with Fountain Vineyard. This was the twenty-third Easter these incredible folks have packed up trucks and trailers and cars to spend five days in tents and sleeping bags, come hellish heat or high water. They’ve refined the whole endeavor to quite a high art – the campsite is nothing but a school’s soccer stadium when they arrive, but by Thursday there is electricity, hot water, shelter from the elements and plenty of great food. Don’t get me wrong… it is certainly still camping, but they do all they can to make it comfortable. Nothing can burn away the masks and get us down to who we really are like sleeping outside in the rain, showering in the presence of guys you just met and sharing toilets with four hundred other people. It has been said that the only thing worse than having diarrhea is trying to have it quietly in a public bathroom. I concur.
Nothing could have prepared me for Easter Camp. What I mean to say is that no one could have described the sense of love, acceptance, belonging and community that I enjoyed this Easter. In fact, I wonder if it is even possible to understand until experienced… I felt as though I were literally living in the Kingdom of Heaven. There were no walls, no barriers, no hindrances – nothing to stand in the way of connecting with people – nothing to keep us from loving one another and being loved in return. I think Dave Pedersen is among the very few (very few!) genuine Apostles I have met, and his calm, compassionate nature reigned tangibly throughout the camp.I was the speaker for the evening meetings, Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night. I talked about our willingness to be broken open so that the life of Jesus within us can escape and touch the people around us. I
cannot describe the meetings any other way than to say that there was an impartation. Far beyond mental ascent to an idea, I could see people’s hearts opening and their spirits lunging to grab this concept and make it their own. God is up to something in South Africa! During the morning and evening meetings people were released from demonic oppression, people were physically healed, people received emotional recovery, some were filled with the Holy Spirit. It was the fullness of the Body of Christ at work and on display.I have also been in one of the world’s surfing capitals, Jeffrey’s Bay, and one of the most naturally beautiful places on earth, Knysna. In both places, God seemed to breathe fresh air into the rooms. People began to understand that Outflow Evangelism is something doable, practical and powerful. When we open ourselves to be used by God to do “small things” with “great love,” the world begins to change.
News from South Africa
In the words of the late, great theologian, Bruce Lee (Enter the Dragon)
It is like a finger pointing to the moon… don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory!
Since March 29, I have been “the finger” in South Africa pointing to “the moon” of living in the Outflow. My prayer has been that people would not see me (the finger) but that they would be able to catch a glimpse of the true heavenly glory of flinging seeds of service, love, kindness and generosity. Lord, let Scott be forgotten and let Jesus be remembered!
As I type, I am completing the first leg of this trip. I’ll be flying out of Johannesburg (or JoBurg, as I am now authorized to call it) and landing in Port Elizabeth to spend Easter with the folks at Fountain Vineyard later today. I truly believe that God is up to something in South Africa!
On Saturday, March 31, I led an Outflow Mini-Conference at Valley Vineyard. The response was amazing! Not only did people really “get it,” but they were naturals at “doing it.” We went into a new housing community, still under construction, and gave away chocolate Easter eggs to demonstrate the kindness of God. During the morning discussion I was talking about the value of the seed and that when we shift our focus from getting people to “pray the prayer,” to simply flinging the seed miraculous things can happen. I had no idea how those words were about to be proven! The idea of giving something that people would like to have (chocolate eggs), for free was astounding to most of the people we met. One family asked the group who handed them Easter eggs if they could give their lives to Jesus right there in their home, or did they have to wait for church the next day… Sure, you can give your lives to Jesus right here! There were literally dozens of stories from that one afternoon of seed flinging. God is up to something in South Africa. The best part was when we came back to the church to share stories and discuss what we’d experienced. The room pulsed with energy and the presence of the Spirit. People were already moving beyond “Servant Evangelism” in their thinking and sharing ideas about getting back into that community in powerfully simple ways. My heart was singing with joy because it was pretty clear that “the finger” had not gotten in the way of the true heavenly glory of living spontaneous, Outflow lives.
The next day, Sunday April 1, I spoke at another great church, Hillside Vineyard. God’s presence was so heavy and tangible during worship, the tears poured from my eyes despite my efforts to look "put together" and like America’s official Outward-Focused Ambassador. It was, again, beyond my ability to describe. I have never known the kind of weight and burden (but in a good way) that I have experienced while talking to the people here. There seems to be such a spiritual imperative, such a now is the time mandate on this Outflow message. Gavin, the Team Leader from Valley Vineyard, said on Sunday night that he saw a picture of a giant fan, moved into position by the Holy Spirit. Then he saw the Church in South Africa taking fistfuls of seeds and flinging them into the rotating blades of the fan. The implication being that if we will generously, recklessly scatter the seeds we’ve been given, God will blow them in the right direction.
Of course, there has been plenty of fun too. Check out this picture of me petting one-and-a-half year old lion cubs… They would never let you do this in the US!
Thank God for MTV!
MTV leads the way in Reality TV. They invented the idea a bunch of years ago with a show that is still on the air, The Real World. One of their newest innovations is a reality show called, Juvies. I’m not a big fan of reality TV but this one really captured my attention. Sheryl and I had it on last night. I was stunned to discover that this show is recorded literally blocks from where I lived for 15 years! Any one reading this from Northwest Indiana will instantly recognize the abbreviation, LCJC, Lake County Juvenile Center. Can you believe that? MTV saw fit to film a show about juvenile delinquents in my old hometown. I am less than honored!
But let me explain why: It is not because I’m afraid this show will cast a false, negative shaddow on my old hood. It’s actually because I’m afraid it sheds glaring light on the local churches’ raging ineffectiveness at reaching into the lives of the teenagers that need Jesus. I need to add one more comment before going forward… I consider myself a part of that collective, ineffective local church. I was a pastor at a church just down the road from the set of "Juvies" for nearly 6 years and I didn’t have any influence with those kids. Even worse, I was a youth leader for 2 of those years and never made any connections or relationships at LCJC. I was always busy doing church stuff and to be completely honest, the kids “locked up” in juvie never even crossed my mind. God, forgive me!
I’m not out to point fingers at church leaders in Northwest Indiana – I know almost all of them and count each and every one a friend. We’re all compassionate, dedicated, servants of the Lord, but I know these leaders are just like I used to be… busy. My probing question is: Busy doing what?
During last night’s episode, I cried watching the two, featured kids go through the legal process. Both kids were from two-parent families and both kids were spending their first night behind bars. I guess the ideal situation would be that we reach kids before they get into trouble, but one particular scene broke my heart and inspired my thinking. At one point, the camera captured the entire “population” at a chapel service. As the Chaplain spoke, the camera moved around his audience, and I noticed that about 90% of those kids were giving him their undivided attention and soaking in each word. In fact, one of the “main characters” was later asked by a group of fellow inmates if he was going to play cards with them. His answer: “No, I’m gonna read my Bible.” Thank God for MTV! The Church in Northwest Indiana has just been alerted to an amazing opportunity to serve people in need.
It is extremely difficult for “church” or some Christian leader to gain access to the “world” of a troubled teenager. The opportunity exists because Lake County has gathered a bunch of them in one place. I hate using the word “should,” but it is necessary here… Churches should be beating the doors down, trying to get involved and serve at LCJC any way they can!
The tendency will be to want to preach at them. I think that’s the wrong way to go. They obviously already have their own Chaplain and are probably under certain legal obligations about “religious tolerance.” I can see kindness and practical service making great inroads, though. Instead of trying to jump right in with the “sinner’s prayer,” if churches would take on the long term goal of forging a relationship with the dedicated people at LCJC, great things will happen. In Romans 2:4, Paul asks the rhetorical question, “Is it not the kindness of God that leads to repentance?” One translation reads, “…leads to a radical life-change.” Isn’t that ultimately what we’re interested in? We want to see these kids have a radical life-change.I’m not sure if I’m actually writing to any of the spiritual leaders in Northwest Indiana here or not, but if so, here are a couple of my ideas:
Bring gifts for the LCJC staff: These are people that you can guarantee are under-paid, over-worked and under-appreciated. Find out how many people are working there at a given time and show up with a small gift basket for each person. Resist the urge to throw in propaganda from your church and just keep to a simple, “Thank you for doing what you do… every single day!” message.
Raise money to help in some practical way: If you can get in touch with a leader there, tell him that your church is raising money to help them with a special project they’d like to take on. They will not turn away your money! I noticed on last night’s episode that their basketball court could use a lot of work – maybe that’s an idea.
Here’s the key: It is not that they “need” a new basketball court! The basketball court is not the “end;” it’s the means. I know… they’re criminals. Why should they have a new basketball court? Simple: Because God’s love is extravagant and His grace is based on that lavish generosity, not whether we deserve His favor or not. Think about the statement a gesture of no-stings-attached generosity like this makes to the entire community…
There are so many more ideas… The bottom line is that churches in Northwest Indiana have a great opportunity to make an impact in this harvest field. Is it not God’s kindness that leads to a radical life change?
Praying from the Spleen (Part 1)
Not too long ago and after a stretch of several miserable days, I had a long solitary drive to think and pray. By accident, I think I stumbled upon something transformational. I just started talking to God about everything. I told him everything I was feeling and thinking. I didn’t censor myself in anyway or try to say "the right things." I was just eviscerating to the Lord. After about 10 minutes of that I heard myself saying something I’d never said before – as I said it, it was literally like garbage started erupting out from deep with in me. I started to cry uncontrollably and actually had to slow down and pull the car over. I have no idea how I came around to it, but what I heard myself saying was, "I hate myself! I hate myself!" That was, or is a very deep issue within me, going back a very long way. For the past 15 years or more I’ve dealt with big regrets, things I’ve done or said to people come slithering back into my mind, with lured detail and vivid pictures of people being wounded by my words. In an instant I saw how self-hatred has colored nearly everything I’ve done and said for most of my life.
At first I thought, "Okay God, now I know what my problem is, but I don’t know what you want me to do about it!" I’ve since realized that this is what he wants me to do about it, acknowledge it and tell him about it. It’s like Adam being forced to talk to God after he’d eaten the forbidden fruit. God made him confess, "I was naked and ashamed so I hid myself from your sight." I think just the willingness to separate enough time to talk to God until we finally break down to gut-level honesty is all he needs to correct the mistakes we’ve made and purge the ugliness we’ve been carrying.
I can’t tell you how good it feels to be able to say, "I hate myself." It is totally liberating. I know that I’m in a process of healing and recovery. Everything is different! I haven’t thought back to those old scenes of regret since that car ride. I’m not having anywhere near the same battles with anger that I used to have. I see people and relationships so much differently too. In fact, I got out my Blackberry and emailed several people as I was driving, just to make things right between us. I just saw myself, my reactions, my thoughts, my motives for what they were for the first time. My self-loathing caused me to do things and say things in hopes that people would like me – not such a bad thing on the surface – but I was always trying so hard to be the best me I could be, not letting any of the me that I hated to come out. That’s not grace. Trying our best to be our best is never what God had in mind.
A good friend of mine wrote this in an email to me:
I can see now how I have tried to hide those things from everyone – even God (which seems so ridiculous to say out loud). I mean, why would I think I could HIDE anything from God? But I know that even when I pray I censor myself. I know those "attitudes" of mine are wrong and I guess I figured God would be displeased- so I definitely didn’t want to flaunt it in front of him…..besides, that would be like a "negative confession" in church speak.
I completely understand feeling compelled to censor yourself in prayer. I also get the hiding from God part. It’s not that we think he somehow doesn’t see how things really are, I think we believe that he’ll be more happy with us for "being strong" and "staying faithful" no matter how things really are. So instead of saying, "Lord, this is bull$%@! I’m totally hurt or offended," or whatever. We say, "Lord I know I’m supposed to forgive and walk in love, blah, blah, blah." We think he’ll be proud of us for burying our true feelings under a pile of religion, but that’s not what he says. Isaiah 43:26 he says, "Let us contend together; state your case, that you may be acquitted."
I love the use of the word, "Acquitted." That means that I’ll walk away free, no more handcuffs, no more having to answer for myself before a judge and jury, no more trial, no more evidence being exposed and displayed, nothing to be held over my head in the future – acquitted! That’s why we can’t censor ourselves in prayer. Even using the word "prayer," makes it sound too official. Really I mean eviscerating. Opening up the hideous doors to the secret-me that I’ve never talked to anyone about. Now, I’ll interject at this point: there are certainly some things that we should not discuss with other people. God does say, "Let US Contend together.” I’m still learning where that line is. In my case, I have a tendency to push the envelope because I hope to be able to help someone else that might be dealing with similar stuff.
Let me summarize: Pour your guts out to God. Don’t pray, commit hara-kiri! You’ll know when you’re doing it right because It doesn’t come from your head or even your heart – it comes from your spleen. Second, don’t carry the expectation that victory means never feeling “this way” again. Victory means feeling this way without all the pain and sadness and embarrassment, plus having new tools to deal with the feelings.
