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Diapers In The Road (Part 1)
A few months ago I was on my way to the grocery store and spotted something in the middle of the road. As I approached, it became clear that a large box of Huggies had fallen from some one’s car and landed in the street. The box looked as though it had been hit a few times because diapers were scattered and the box was smashed and destroyed. Something about this scene moved me – deeply.
I could put a whole story together around this dirty, smashed mess of diapers. With two kids in diapers right now, I understand how important they are. When you go to the store to buy diapers it is because YOU NEED diapers. And they’re not cheap. When my wife goes to the store, she has four little kids with her. Each one demands 100% percent of her physical and emotional attention. Do that math – that keeps moms spread awfully thin.
She’s always carrying at least one – often two and trying to keep tabs on the bigger ones as they navigate the busy parking lot. Then think about inside the store… everyone grabbing at things and asking for things. The two year old screaming because he wanted the cart with the plastic truck attached. The baby chewing on the part where everyone in the universe has placed their sweaty, filthy hands. Moms are good at managing this stuff through repeated practice. It takes a lot to really wear down and wear out a mom, but the grocery store provides all the right stressors to do it.
Can’t you imagine that her mind is on a million things at once as she opens the lift gate and fills up the back? The diaper box goes on the roof while she wrangles the kids and in the chaos, never makes it into the van.
The diapers ride on the roof of the van for a little while. Slowly driving through the parking lots, other people notice the diapers on her roof and nudge one another. They giggle to each other at the silly lady who doesn’t realize she’s got a big box on the top of her minivan. As she accelerates to get onto the road and get home, the diapers tumble off the roof and hit the pavement behind her. If she noticed right now, she might be able to pull over, jump out and rescue them but there is too much going on in the van and there is way too much on her mind. She drives on.
At home the mission of unloading begins. Think about the mix of painful emotions as she searches the van for the diapers. Where are the diapers? The most important thing she went to the store for is not here. I can vividly empathize with the horror and the helplessness of that moment of realization. All of this flashed upon my heart in the seconds it took me to pass the evidence of this drama, spilled across the road. I could feel the agony in my own body – my guts churned as compassion for this anonymous person swelled within me.
I prayed as I drove, asking God to put a stop to this kind of senseless loss. “Intervene,” I pleaded. As I prayed, helplessness was beginning to wash over me as well. It’s too late. I can’t pick up these diapers – I’d never be able to find the person that lost them. There is nothing for anyone to do to help. All I could think to pray was that the Lord would not allow these things to happen around me. Don’t let me pass the person with the diapers on the roof of the minivan without getting her attention.
These prayers were from my heart and voiced through tears of both compassion and rage at the idea that these lost diapers were some sort of enemy victory.
Are you in touch with the pain of others? Do you notice the evidence of their loss? Maybe it’s not diapers that would get your attention, but is there something? I’m trying to become more sensitive to the compassionate heart of Jesus. I want to see what he sees and I want to feel what he feels when he looks over the people who live where I live.
This story of the diapers is one of the rare ones in my life because it has a resolution. I will share the rest of the story in another part. It was an amazing revelation of how connected we are and how the Spirit partners with us when we allow ourselves to be moved with compassion and bear the burdens of others.
Lisa said...
1You really like to leave us hanging as far as stories are concerned, don’t you? It’s an amazing thing that you are allowing God to bring about in your heart. Most people don’t want to acknowledge and deal with their own pain, let alone another’s. So at what point can we become helpful to others? I feel so overwhelmed with my own crap right now, that how can I be of any use to anyone else? I’m pretty sure you covered this in LBTC at some point, but the answer is escaping me.
12/30/08 11:38 PM | Comment Link
Chrissy said...
2I get the whole diaper scene, been there, seen stuff, not only diapers, in the middle of the road. I have been “that mom” left stuff, including my purse on top of my car, thankfully someone caught me before I pulled out of the parking lot. Yes, I am that “blond, carefree, air-head mom”! Today, a little further than toddler ages: I remember those days and I am so thankful for those who helped and reminded me, but really those who helped, even inside a church, a slim to none! The one who stopped me in a parking lot to tell me my purse was on the roof of my car was my hubby!! Thankfully, I always knew he knew I wasn’t an airhead, I was very busy with children!
unfortunately in a church, I was not so fortunate, the ones who stopped me, were sure to remind me of what an airhead or what a horrible mom or a horrible parishner I was! I never remember any of them offering help! I do remember others offering help inside a grocery store. The ones inside the grocery store are the one’s that have inspired me to be more like “Him”!
Ok Scott continue on…
12/31/08 6:09 AM | Comment Link
Scott said...
3Hey Lisa,
I totally understand the sentiment that you can be so overwhelmed trying to deal with your own brokenness that it seems you can’t be useful to help others. Although I understand it, it is most certainly a lie. Our brokenness (and our vulnerability about it) is what gives us the authorization to enter the world of other people to begin with. Jesus uses his scars to communicate his love to us.
In fact, it is often by giving away the healing and the comfort that we need ourselves that we become whole and healthy again. We must stop believing that spirituality is determined by how “put together” we are and how many answers we know. That will push people away from us. I’ll write more about this in the second part, but the key is that I did not drum up any sort of “ministry response” to the diapers in the road. What happened within me was God’s doing. He moved my heart with compassion – It’s not that I’m just a wonderfully sensitive, spiritually-minded person.
So our mission is not about getting ourselves fixed so we can help others (would never happen anyway!). Our mission is about removing the obstacles that are in the way of God’s desire to move us with compassion.
Hope that makes some sense. And I’m glad you still look over here even with the great lapses in posts
Peace.
12/31/08 3:43 PM | Comment Link
Dan said...
4I really liked this post. It’s truly relevant to what’s been going on with me lately. We do go through things and get so emotionally drained that we feel like someone needs to be ministering to US and not vice versa.
Scott raises a great point about thinking we’re of no value to anyone unless OUR lives are “put together” as he said. That whole thought process is a lie from the devil. I know because it is one that has plagued me. God can and will use us no matter WHAT state we find ourselves in. We can ALWAYS be of help to someone – all we need to do is be available to God – after all, it’s HIS strength, not ours.
I’ve found the reason the devil hits us so hard during these rough times of life, is because the way out IS to help someone else – to reach out in the midst of our pain or hurt. It’s the giving of ourselves that leads to freedom – the freedom of another person, and our own personal freedom – no matter what our current circumstances. I’ll look forward to the next post. Thanks for sharing.
01/2/09 12:53 AM | Comment Link
Charlie Wear’s Notes » Compassion… said...
5[...] good friend Scott Bane is starting a church in Indiana. He has a great post about some lost diapers and compassion. It reminded me of a time that God’s compassion moved me to pray for a city. [...]
01/3/09 5:11 AM | Comment Link
Scott Bane dot Com Diapers In The Road Part 1 | Shed Kits said...
6[...] Scott Bane dot Com Diapers In The Road Part 1 Posted by root 22 hours ago (http://www.scottbane.com) Dec 30 2008 the diapers ride on the roof of the van for a little while all of this flashed upon my heart in the seconds it took me to pass the evidence of this ok scott continue on 12 31 08 6 09 am comment link site powered by wordpress theme designed and Discuss | Bury | News | scott bane dot com diapers in the road part 1 [...]
05/27/09 3:16 AM | Comment Link