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Finally Following
The majority of my “Christian life” has been spent acting as though Jesus is gone. Think about the original followers who heard him say, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” Then he left them.
So how important must his presence be? Not what we usually call his presence – what I’ve allowed to pass for his presence for far too long – but his actual life-transforming right here-ness. The people he specifically selected and spent three years training and living with were not qualified or authorized or even capable of doing stuff without him and then he left them.
I’ve lived so much of my life as though I have to work around that abscence. It only now occurs to me to describe it like this. It’s like I’ve lived believing that since he’s not here and I can’t actually follow him, my time must be filled by many other things. As if by doing these other things, I’m showing Jesus how willing I would have been to follow him if I were around back then. Cramming my life with religious rituals and ceremonies took the place of walking behind him and listening to his words.
I have missed the fundamental purpose of the receiving of the Spirit – reunion with Jesus. He promised the Spirit so that we wouldn’t be without him (“He takes of what is mine and gives it to you… I will not leave you orphans…”). For the first time in my life I believe that I am truly following him.
I’m not referring to any specific thing I’m doing – it’s just that I know whatever I am doing, I’m doing it with Jesus – behind Jesus. Whatever I think he’s asking me to do, I do. And when I can’t tell that he’s asking me to do anything, I’m content to do nothing. When I get it wrong, he corrects me. When I don’t get it, I ask him about what’s going on.
Jesus us here. He is doing things everyday and I’ve finally accepted his invitation to come along.
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