Knowing When To Do What
"To better its chances, the special operation may have to work extremely fast, lunging straight at the heart of power; or it may require mind-numbing patience as its warriors embed themselves in a hostile city for months" (Leebaert. To Dare & To Conquer, p. 23).
When I'm thinking of a church, I sense that this is really important. I think there is a big challenge on either side of this issue. If we're sensing that God wants us to strike quickly and that timing is the critical issue, then we're facing the fear of the uncertain. If we're getting the sense that God wants us to wait, then obviously our issue is patience.
I'm going through a bit of both at this moment. We (for the second time) moved the whole family in pursuit of what we sensed God calling us to do. We did not have a clear picture of "what" that was or how we would pay our bills, but we felt like God was saying, "NOW!" So we went for it. Now we're one month into a church plant and still dealing with the uncertain. It's not quite clear how this will all work out (and will it ever be?), but a picture is starting to form.
Most of all, this experience has been teaching me who I am and who I am not in the kingdom, at this point in my development. I'm starting to see things that were previously very unclear. God is speaking to me, I think. Ideas for how to go about raising the dead and reaching my generation are beginning to form. Now the challenge is waiting and listening for the When. And I'm discovering that this is harder for me than striking quickly.
Not having any ideas but a raw willingness to do "whatever" is turning out to be a bit more bearable than feeling like I know what I want to do and not sensing the spiritual green light to go for it. I've written before about patience as Spiritual power to control our thougths, desires and emotions during times of stress. Those lessons are becoming so real as I attempt to live them out. My hope is that God is doing things behind the scenes, both in my life and in the "field" to which He's calling us. There are some great promises to those willing to wait:
Isaiah 64:4 (NKJV) "For since the beginning of the world Men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, Nor has the eye seen any God besides You, Who acts for the one who waits for Him" (I added the emphasis).
Scott Bane
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Reader Comments (4)
what great insight. Your post is so accurate in the way we feel sometimes and our only hopes. Just a thought, but, always in the waiting I used to get anxious and nervous and wanting to know what was next, I found that this was my time to rest because the upcoming would need all of me! Maybe this is your time to "in a sense" rest in what God has coming for you!?
I feel like I've been in that holding pattern (waiting) forever. A total exaggeration, I know. I agree with you, and think it is much harder to be patient when the idea of what's coming is there, and you're just waiting for God to say "go". I feel like a change is coming to my life personally, but I don't know when or what. Is it going to be within me, or an external thing, like a change of churches,job, or a move? So many decisions seem to be staring our family in the face right now, and as much as I know God's will is not a hit or miss thing, I really want to go His way.
You have some great insight here. I can only share what I have discovered recently. I've been frustrated (to put it mildly) over my current situation for some time now. The only reason I have remained where I'm at is because of a "lack of clear direction" beyond this point. I've been content to "hang on to the familiar". I guess I just didn't know where else to go.
I believe that my frustration has been directly linked to my fighting with God over the situation. What I believe I *have* clearly seen is that I'm dying inside as long as I choose to stay where I am. The more I fight the will of God, the worse it's getting. I've decided that I'm not "kicking against the goads" any longer. I'm giving in to God. One thing I DO know is that I've been unhappy inside. That hasn't changed, it has only intensified. I must believe this to be the leading of God. According to Psalm 37:4, God leads us by desire (or the lack of it).
I think what I've been "waiting on God" to do is map everything out for me. I'm finding He doesn't do that. I think our "green light" happens inside sometimes instead of in the grandiose outward "sign" that we expect. God deals with our hearts, we need to respond. The more we fight it, the worse it gets. (It has been the case for me, anyways). I think when we get God's "signal", we just need to GO, and then once God sees we're serious (and actually IN some measure of faith) He begins to fill in the details.
Dan, apparently you're reading my mind. Everything you said is exactly how I've been feeling. I really wish Sunday would've worked out. For me the "familiar" takes on a whole different meaning. It's not just a place we worship, it's our children's school, and my job. Scary stuff when I think of a change in one or all of those.