Going Back to Square One
Developing my discoveries about this great book I am reading is going to have wait, at least one installment anyway. I have come on to something much more urgent and maybe some of the things that I have needed recently will resonate with you. Jesus was so crystal clear - maybe too clear. He was so clear that it is very easy to miss the weight of what He said, at least that's what I did.
"Whoever desires to be great among you must become the servant of all."
I am embarrassed by how far I allowed myself to slide from this way of living. Somewhere along the way it must have snuck into my head that Jesus actually wants us to "go for our dreams," and "use our gifts." I can't articulate this as well as I want to, but try to open your heart to the sneaky deception of the above trite, Christian sayings. That thinking is a trap! Jesus' life says "give expecting nothing in return." Jesus' life is one that prefers the needs of others ahead of his own. The question really comes down to: Which life do I really want, mine or HIS?
So when I actually decide to follow Jesus the next question I ask is: How do I gain access to this life of Jesus that I know is in there? How do I stop reacting and snapping and copping a bad attitude? It's not will power; I have proven that. Well, this part is in process, but the short answer is that I must be making a greater investment in the Spirit than I am making in my flesh.
This is what I'm meditating on right now. To use the King James language, sowing to the Spirit instead of sowing to the flesh.
Scott Bane
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I'm a little confused about this post. I think our giftings are from God, and we have the choice of whether to use them for His glory or ours. I'm finding that I'm confused about a lot of things lately, though.
Lisa, I understand your confusion. It's not "just you." Like I wrote, I'm having a hard time making this as clear as it is in my mind. Think of it like this though - how do you think Matthew the tax collector felt when Jesus assigned Judas to handle the money bag? Why not use the guy who had the gifts and experience to deal with the money?
Put yourself in Matthew's sandals. This guy asks you to follow him and you agree. Then, when money starts coming in and you want to use your gift for the glory of God, he won't let you. Instead, this guy who seems to have no experience at all gets asked to keep the books. If you're Matthew and you dwell on this, it can really mess you up. You start to feel slighted, as if Jesus doesn't trust you. You start to get upset with Judas too. You complain about the system to other people and pretty soon you have a little band of people who agree with you. One of them starts convincing you that "this thing" you're doing is not of God because IF it was, your gifts would be used (besides, it was God who gave them to you, right?) and you wouldn't be so frustrated. You can probably fill it in from here.
This is a very typical way that people get dislodged from a place that God wants them. It doesn't feel like it at the time, but it is selfish thinking. It's lust. My point in this post is that there is nothing greater than simply serving, being the servant of all. Or in other words, the one who serves the most. It is different. It's not easy and it is a life entirely fueled by faith. I'm going to have to write more and develop this, because you have raised a very valid question.
Have I helped clear it up or just clouded things even more? :-) Thanks for the comment and question!
I love that! A greater investment in the spirit than in the flesh. Wow. Do I even realize how much investment I'm making in the flesh? Think about it...how much of what I do every day is enriching my Holy Spirit indwelt human spirit and how much is enriching my self-indwelt flesh? I'm WAY OUT OF BALANCE!
You and me both, Brenda.
I am so thankful Lisa asked her question and that you responded, this cleared things up a bit for me. I am very anxious for the next post on this. I want more clarification and understanding on the direction of this post.
I think it is very easy to confuse an ATTITUDE of serving with the ACT of serving. I believe we can still operate in our gifts and serve by a right attitude. Some folks think because they have a gift, they are no longer required to perform the ACT of serving. In Ephesians 4:11, God appoints offices within the Body to SERVE. Granted, there are many folks in this office who misconstrue their office as a pass on serving. There are however others, who SERVE the Body best by operating in their gift. You can still hold an office with the HEART of a servant.
One thing I always remember is how you would help set up tables and take them down before and after bible school. You would always lend a hand to help (with the attitude of a servant) though you still held an "office". I have tried to model myself after that, I've never forotten. You led by example. Thanks for that.