Civilians like me are probably aware of one characteristic of our Special Operations Forces more than any other. It has been well heralded in books, movies and news stories that in Special Operations, you never leave your brother behind. I have written about this before... It is just such an amazing and heroic stand to take. This code and commitment does not apply only to those that are living and have been captured. Even the fallen, those already dead, will not be left behind. I have read the words of members of SOF, saying it is the knowledge that no matter what happens to them, their brothers will come to get them and they will not be left in the hands of the enemy that allows them to do what they do over and over again. What would Christian community be like if we all started every single day with the confidence that no matter what happens to us, no matter how we fall, our brothers will not leave us? What could we do if you knew that our sisters would storm the very gates of hell to get us back from the jaws of our enemy?

There is a song that I like, a Christian song, and the words go like this:

If you see me on the way down

Would you smile and send me on my way?

If you see me headed down

Is there something more between you and I? 

I feel like this song has been written from an agonizing dose of Christian experience. How many wounded people have walked the halls of church, oozing with clues of their brokenness, and all they've received from their brothers and sisters is the standard, superficial church greeting? I'm guilty, for sure. A few bars later in the song come the words:

I want to

Be real again...

I want You

Father, be real in me

And then, the next section has become my prayer - this is the kind of brother that I want to be:

If I see you on the way down

I'll lift your name up into His care

If I see you headed down

I'll do what I can to lift you up again 

Along these lines, my wife has an absolutely inspiring post on her website today. This is what being a brother (or sister) is all about! 

For a couple of weeks, I have actually been telling myself to "get used to disappointment." I wrote yesterday about the different ways that we can "give up" on ever really doing the things that cause our heart to ignite with passion. I left one out... if you start telling yourself to get used to disappointment, you've given up!

In the words of the great Christian leader, George Costanza, "I'm back, Baby!" God knows exactly how to encourage us - we just need to give him the opportunity. This is a lesson that I learned years ago, but needed a refresher course. Back in my junior year of college basketball, my parents came up for a "Parents' Weekend" game. You are supposed to schedule a team that you can just beat the pee out of for a game like that, but in the proud tradition of our school, we scheduled a game against one of our fiercest divisional rivals. The result being, that the bench scrubs like me didn't touch the floor in a game that turned out to be so close. With about 1 minute 45 seconds left, it became clear to me that I was not actually going to play in this game. I was incensed! My parents did not live close to the university and it was special that they could get the time off to come to a game... and now I wasn't even playing in it?! I was furious with my coach, embarassed, mad at my teammates for not being able to finish these chumps in the first half and none-too-happy with God for "letting this happen to me." Silently, in my own head (and heart) I had it out with God. I told him how cruel he was being. I demanded to know why he would do this. Why would he even allow my parents to come all the way up here if he knew that I wasn't going to play in the freaking game? It only took a few seconds to have this tirade and amazingly I felt a lot better having unloaded on the Lord. Then I said to God, "Just let me know that you even care about this stuff."

It was right at this time that my coach called our last timeout. He pulled the 5 starters over to the bench and huddled us up tight. He looked right into the eyes of these 5 weary guys who had been killing themselves for the past 38 minutes and 13 seconds to keep us in this tight game. I'll never forget what he shouted at our team, over the noise of the packed-house, home court crowd:

The last minute and half of this game is all about heart! You've got to forget the rest of this game and make this last 1:42 your whole world. I need you guys to play with more heart than you've ever played - you need to play with Scott Bane's heart out there. Throw yourself on every loose ball. Get every rebound. Clamp the defense on these guys and don't let them get a breath!

Honestly, at my talent level, heart was all that kept me on the team. It meant the world to me that my coach noticed and respected my contribution. Then, as the guys took the floor and went on defense, our All-American point guard intentionally turned his back on our opponent's point guard, making the guy believe he was not paying attention. When they made a lazy pass to the point guard, our guy jumped into action, stole the ball, brought it down the court and scored - a move that I was "famous" for within our team and at our practices. We won and the crowd (my parents included) went nuts.

I'm taking a lot more space than usual in order to share this little recipe with you. I think we have to really get honest with God before he can help us. I ask people all the time, "Have you had the 'what in the world is going on here, God' conversation yet?" As long as we try to hide our true feelings behind a bunch of religious jargon when we pray, there is very litte God can do for us. So give it to him, raw and uncensored. That's his language. You've heard people say, Just give it to God...? Well, this is how we "give it" to him. Then, once you've said all the things that you've been hiding from him, decide exactly what you need from him in order to make it through. In my case, I asked God to let me know that he actually cared about what I was going through. He answered me in such a way that I had no doubt it was him.

I had to relearn this whole lesson yesterday and as usual, the Lord was right there. To those of you that the Lord used to encourage me (you know who you are), thank you! It worked.

This great book that I am almost finished reading has been setting off so many thoughts to advance this "parable" of special operations and Christian service. One insight to come from my reading is just how frustrating and confining it usually was to be a military Special Operator over the past 25 years. Recently, things have apparently changed to give SOF more control over their own usage, but in the "early days" it was difficult. Special Operations Forces have always been considered a supporting force. This means that they were subject to the plan and discretion of the regional commander. In other words, a commander who did not truly understand - and often did not appreciate - the unique abilities of Special Operators, made all the decisions about how, where, when and if they were used on the battlefield. According to my reading, things like petty jealousy, personal vendetta and ladder-climbing, butt-covering kept SOF on the sidelines during many important conflicts.

I know so many Christians who have been hurt, offended, misused, abused, misunderstood, mistreated, and so on by a pastor / leader, who did not take the time to understand their unique gift or contribution. I know for certain that this kind of insensitivity (or deliberate neglect) does happen in the church. It is very frustrating and can be discouraging to the point of just throwing in the towel - completely giving up. Giving up for some people means leaving a church and then wandering for the next several years, never finding a spot that fits and never investing themselves ever again. For other people, giving up looks a little different. They stay where they are, but they unplug in every other way. They give up on ever doing something that they are passioate about. They might do what they are asked to do, but they do it with a critical attitude, and they are only going through the motions.

I have so much to say about this...  I won't try to dump it all on you right now. If you fit into a category like I have described above, consider this: You may have a "special forces" type call on your life. You can't find satisfaction in the "conventional church" because you are not made to fit the convention. This does not mean that you are stuck, or trapped. I would love to hear from you, because I think that God has done some things in me that could be used to help you. There is nothing like serving the Lord from a position of passion - the passion that he has given you. Don't give up because a few little adjustments and a few more tools can make a huge difference!

email me: scottjbane@mac.com

skype me: scottbane

call me: (513) 652.8096 

I wrote previously about my new habit of getting up early to go running. Well... I'm still getting up but the running part has sort of hit the skids as of late. The past two mornings the alarm goes off and I get up. I go to the bathroom (that's the secret to hauling myself out of bed anytime before 8 AM. I drink plenty of water before bed so when the alarm goes off, so does the bladder - "Get up! Or you won't like what happens next!")

It's here that the big plan derails. I just cannot envision myself actually leaving the house and running. I'm not overly tired, just can't fathom running around the neighborhood. For a lack of anything else "to do," I have been going to the couch and praying. This morning it struck me just how little time I have been actually dedicating to praying for others. The whole, "you should be praying more" guilt-trip has never had much of an impact on me - this was not just religious guilt. I sensed that God might actually be on something in my life and that He expects a change. So on that note, I dug up this thought that was penned on another of my 2-year old index cards:

The Air Force has a Special Operations component known as the Combat Controller. These are warriors that have been specially trained in the art and science of calling in precision air strikes on close-up enemy targets. Combat Controllers are deployed within Special Operations teams as force multipliers. If a small SOF team encounters a large enemy force or a well fortified position the Combat Controller can direct fighter jets and other air power into the area and clear the landscape. One Combat Controller, with the support of the guys in the skies, can decimate huge enemy installations.

Prayer is our "long range" weapon and we need to develop the ability to see these dug-in enemy positions and drop precise "bombs" upon them. Our intercession can be honed to a degree of accuracy that it can stop a coming assault and free people before they even know they are in danger.

In Ephesians, after Paul descriptively details the full armor of God, he wraps the passage up by saying: "Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere." So, we are sure to fully equip ourselves for whatever attacks may be leveled against us, but we are also expected to be on a constant lookout for what might be coming against other people.

No wonder I'm sensing a greater urgency and a higher demand of my time for prayer. Lord, here am I, send me.

Today, I'm writing from another one of the note cards that I've been jotting ideas on for nearly 2 years. It was a poiniant reminder to me today - one that I was in need of.

 Special Operations Forces do jobs that most often the rest of the world does not know about. They have to be content to do important, dangerous and complicated jobs that will, for the most part, never be hearlded or openly rewarded. In fact, others who played a much less significant role will often be credited for the successes achieved by SOF.

"Special Forces" in the church serve in the same capacity. They have to get to know the glory and the encouragement that comes only from the Lord. He sees into the secret places and He knows how to honor and encourage His servants. Like 1 Corinithians 12:23-24 describes, on those vessels that seem to be less important or hidden, God bestows even greater honor.

I needed to be reminded that whatever we do, we do it for the kingdom of God and for the King, himself - not to be seen, noticed or appreciated by other people. Another verse that comes to mind that fits here is Hebrews 6:10 "For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do."