Eight airplanes in ten days.  Anything I once thought glamorous about being a "traveling minister" has long evaporated.  This was as good a trip as any, just too many nights away from home.  The fifth flight was from Tampa to Nashville, and it reinforced the Florida stereotype.  I have never been surrounded by so many "retired folks."  I guess Nashville is a big-time get away spot for them.  For me it was just a hurdle on the way to Detroit.

Maybe it was because my flight was early, but all these old couples that surrounded me never stopped complaining and fighting with each other.  The couple behind me, the only thing I heard the old guy say the whole time was "Huh?!"

Her:  Did you put it in the bag?

Him:  Huh?

Her:  THE BAG!  Did you put it in there?

Him:  Huh?!

Her:  I SAID... Oh never mind!!

It struck me that these people have been together for so long, talking to each other with this same kind of disdain and irritation that they can't even hear it anymore.  I wanted to turn around and tell them to SHUT... UP...! but they wouldn't have even known what I was talking about.  Like the parents in the show "Everybody Loves Raymond."  They fight with each other and say all kinds of awful things to one another, but they know they really love each other.  If anyone ever calls them on it, they plead ignorance.  "What are you talking about?  We love each other!"  I could picture this old couple saying to me.  I guess some people understand this and think of it as "sweet" in some way, but I don't.  It is tragic.  If I ever thought my wife would be talking to me with kind of venom in her tone of voice, I would need to start collecting the anti depressants now.

I couldn't help but make connections to the way Christians form a language of their own.  I know I did it, and probably still do to some extent.  The old couple behind me, I can imagine, would defend their unhealthy communication with one another by saying, "This is just the way we are. He understands me."  I have heard Christians use that logic as a defense against changing the way we present ourselves to the watching world.  I have been asking myself, "How do these stereotypes get formed?"  If I hear 10 separate people tell me that they find Christians to be arrogant, judgmental and out of touch then maybe we are.  If you don't stop fighting and complaining throughout the course of 90 minutes, you are a cranky old battle axe - no matter how you attempt to justify yourself.  All the Christians I know really do love people and want to connect with them in authentic ways, but Christians-only culture has hampered their ability to do it.  Hearing how bitter and angry these people in seats 21 A and B sounded brought me to question:  "What do people hear when they hear me?"

We host a gathering of people at our house on Friday nights.  It is, at this stage anyway, nearly the entire church that is being planted down here.  It has raised a lot of questions for me.  Questions about church, what it is - what it isn't - why we do it - when does it happen?  Do we need 3 people to have church, or 6?  Do we need to take an offering?  Should there be a worship leader?  I'm pretty sure I don't want a "house church."  I am also not interested in building an organization that everyone is supposed to come to in order to live out their corporate faith.  I'm pretty tough to please...

If you look at the Gospels and even the letters directly written to churches (or groups of churches) all of this stuff is up for grabs.  Paul doesn't feel the need to mandate that kind of stuff.  I talked last night about Jesus initiating times of intimacy with us.  In Mark 6 Jesus is less concerned about all the activity and business than he is actually spending some time alone with his followers.  There is nothing that generates more "activity" for the Christian than church.  I am asking myself what I really want out of church.  I love getting together with the folks from this Friday night gathering, but in this hypothetical world in which I'm dwelling, what would I do differently?

In my mind, everyone that comes over on Fridays could be leading their own group somewhere.  And in the ideal group, they would be in the minority of Christians in their new group.  I would like to invest myself in these leaders, helping them see the potential for connecting with people all around them and equipping them to get into "their world."

For my own group, I would like to start connecting with the families from Ben's and Luke's schools.  I'm not sure how that would look yet, but I'm imagining social "mixers" and school events just to build some relationships.  Not phoney ones, where I pretend to be their friend so I can "spring Jesus on 'em" at a moment of weakness.  I mean really getting to know people and listening everyday - every moment - for the Holy Spirit to hear which people are ones he has positioned

Just thinking out loud.